Incoming call from Dash...
"Dad, I am finished with my junior year."
"Congratulations! I guess I have stop calling you Junior now. Which, as you know, is the highest compliment I can pay someone. Now I have to call you Señor. How does it feel to be entering your senior year of college?"
"It's a bit intimidating."
"Yeah, there's a comfort in knowing that next year will be essentially the same as your last. Senior Year is different."
"Finding that first job will be always on my mind."
"Well, your class load next year is easier than this year. You'll learn what you need to learn and do what you need to do. You've got this. Just like you had gotten everything else."
<ramblings of my pride in him and other parental compulsions>
"See you tomorrow."
There was a bit of bounce in my step beforehand (less than previous imminent homecomings), but this was a big moment. All the stress of a new life adjustment, the stress and strain of developing actually decent study habits, taking his hardest load yet, etc., etc.
Making the adjustments. Getting his best grades yet and in high major courses to boot.
Pride and relief, both of us. Something he has truly earned. Yes, there is another year ahead and fate is what it is. But a milestone.
Closer to the graduating than the incoming, but still in the midst of it all. Between the thrilled/scared and the accomplished/relieved.
He belongs and he's earned his place.
As have the graduating. As will the new Mustangs.
There's a richness in every moment if you pause to reflect. The timbre and texture of this Bird Launching experience shook me with its lack of precedent in my life - and its emotional intensity. Empty nesting packs a wallop, especially if all your (fertilized) eggs are in one basket (case).
I am thankful that I wrote about the journey as much as I did. I have a source by which to remember, to refeel, the moments, the swings, the pining, the everpresent sweetancholy of it all. I don't trust my brain, but I trust my continued ability to read.
I am thankful for this group, an emotional safety net from the beginning. Nets are passive, y'all were more like an emotional SWAT Team - responsive and active (and more casually dressed). I knew if I needed a lift, you were there. Every time. And I needed you a lot, especially in the beginning. In some ways you are the most real of this experience. Thank you.
So, end of Year 3. More calm. More stoic. But still vulnerable to an emotional spike. Like this new text, "Actually, I think I'm driving home tonight."
Yay, frickin' Yay!
One more time.
Congrats to the graduating, congrats to the incoming, congrats to the kids in the middle. Congrats to all the parents.
They got this. We got you.