I WAS thinking I was going to fall asleep in a few minutes like I normally do.
Nope.
It's SLO Days. My second year. I'm not attending this year, but the wave of emotions are keeping me from sleeping.
The past year has been the most emotionally complex of my life. Not the most emotionally intense - one could argue that the whole of adolescence is all about becoming emotionally LESS intense - but definitely the most complex.
For the first time ever, a whole year where everything was bittersweet. Great joy and great pride always alloyed with a mix of sadness: the distance. They ought to call it sweetbitter, because it's sweet first and mostly. It's only bitter upon reflection, in the aftertaste. But it's not really bitter, it's more of a sad, a wistful, a melancholy. That's it: sweetancholy. My new, apparently long-term, companion.
New Parents: we feel you! We ARE you! A year ago (or two years ago, or three) our posts were your posts. Seeing yours takes us right back there. We know you'll be fine - somehow we're fine! - but know that we feel you.
Your kids will be fine. It's going to be an amazing year for them. They're going to be so busy getting a life on.
NGL (kid lingo for Not Gonna Lie), it's going to suck being so far removed from your babies and this brilliant experience they're going through.
My son's home right now but the thought of him away then and away again is still hitting me with some sweetancholy. I remember how intense it was this time last year. It will be intense again in September. But it lets up (in patches).
I'm not sure how robust your support systems, but please know that this group isn't just for logistics (though Traci and the other admins and moderators are beyond amazing).
Launching my (sole) bird was the first milestone in my life that had that new -ancholy suffix. It was new, and I wasn't particularly prepared for it. It's less new now, and I'm still not sure how prepared I am for it. I can tell from reading the current posts that I'm going to be all over the place again this year. Not quite as intense, but with different complexities.
I do know this: whenever I've been emotionally overwhelmed, I've been able to share my feelings here in this group. The support has consistently been "counter-overwhelming". Each void filled by the words (and Likes (they do mean something)) of fellow parents sharing a common experience. Rich complex sweet and unshakeable -ancholy.
To paraphrase Ataturk (forgive me, it's not a fair comparison) "You the mothers who sent your sons, they have become our sons as well". As we love our kids, we love yours. And your love for them reminds us of our love of ours. We're in this together.
"Launch a bird, gain a flock". We love you and hope to help.