A lot of schools are starting up again and the kids heading back.
I see some first year parents saying it doesn't get easier. Yes, the January departure is a tough one; you're expecting it to be easier, but you probably don't have any immediate plans to see your student - no parents weekend, no Thanksgiving. Three months until spring break.
Today is a tough one.
But it does get better.
Spring Break departure is easier because a lot of you can look forward to a full summer with your student at home.
Year Two is easier. You'll NEVER be happy to see your kid leave, but it does get easier.
I remember my first major breakup - my ex deciding to move to the other side of the country. It felt like I was in a void with the only source of light - a flare, a torch - was out of reach and moving away, leaving only darkness.
Though it might feel like one, this isn't a breakup. Y'all are family forever, not some momentary spark. This isn't the end of your relationship, just a change.
And, yes, the Special Purposeness of your relationship, the DAILY intimacy is no longer daily. And that's hard to adjust to.
Last year, I was thinking "nothing I do in my life will ever be as important as the parenting I've done for the last 18 years."
This year, frankly, I still think that.
But last year the sudden absence of Daily Highest Meaning seemed like that void with the flare moving away. All. This. Void. It seemed so overwhelming, so smothering.
It's not a void, though. It's a full, rich life. But your eyes haven't adjusted yet. It's like going from dazzling sunshine to indoors. Or a brightly lit tent or RV into a dark desert night. At first, all you see is void. Very soon your pupils diIate and you can see a bit. It takes anywhere from ten minutes to two hours for your eyes to fully adapt to darkness. Then you'll see almost everything you could see in the daytime (only not it color). But look up and you can see a glorious sky that you can see in no other place in no other way.
Tens of thousands of stars and The Milky Way. Jaw-dropping.
Your heart, too, will adapt to see the stars. It just takes a little time.
And consider the richness of your relationship with your parents in your post college years. When you married, when you had kids. There's a beautiful relationship with a complete grown human ahead of you. That flare, that torch, that light comes back to you. Again and again.
You still have a Special Purpose, it's just not a 24/7 thing right now.
And where I am now as far as never reaching a purpose higher than what I already had?
I feel less the pang of its (daily) absence than a thankfulness that such prolonged nobility was ever part of my life. And there's more to come.
Allow yourselves to grieve this grief - let the love leak out of your eyes.
But know there is hope. It does get better. You will feel joy again. You will recognize the great meaning in your life (you have it now).
Our kids are deep in a great richness, and they'll thrive and become who they are meant to be. And they come back home, again and again.
You got this. Lean on your family and friends.
And look for the stars.