It's happening. Again. Year Three for my son.
My heart doesn't worry about things that are many weeks away, but it's aware now. I wonder how high it will ramp up this year. All-consuming or just fleeting panics?
I am more excited than him. Because I follow this group. There is SO MUCH excitement and energy radiating from the Year Ones. Whatever is going on between my son and my wife and me is eclipsed by the most amazing and emotional moments in so many lives - the newest members of our extended family.
This family is united by the love of our children and this permanent new duality of pride and longing. All our lives have built for this moment of launching our birds out of our nest, but it's the first time we have to deal with Distance. We'll always miss having them underfoot.
Our summer was uneventful, but had a "just like old times" feeling of normalcy. Living together in routine. He had his own thing going on, but the interactions had a constant, if unspoken, recognition that time together is special - even if we're not "actually doing anything". Actually, I might have completed my Fatherhood Requirements by introducing him to some of the better episodes of the original Star Trek episodes and the good original movies (2 and 4). I think the memories that will stick with me the longest are of us going about our chores and tasks with the sounds of the acoustic guitar echoing around the house (he had lent it out years ago). Leigh and I have zero music talent, so hearing our kid play our favorite riffs is nothing short of magic for us.
Dash took a couple classes, worked a summer job, spent time with friends, decompressed. He is going into his junior year steeling for the workload. He's enjoying the upper level classes more, but academics are intense. An off-campus apartment is the new New, but overall the big Wide-Openings are fewer than previous years.
I'm sure once he's back on campus, he'll get caught up in the excitement. He's plays intramurals, he's in clubs; he has his thing.
In the roller coaster of the college experience, we're past the big drops and high-g turns and into the still-fun second half. We're past the big terrors and still have some track before it flattens out for the slow-break-and-unload. Good times and big achievement lay ahead.
But for you Year Ones: High-G's, baby! That potential energy built up in that 17-year climb up the hill is about to be unleashed into frenetic kinetic.
Cal Poly has amazing safety systems - in many ways more thorough then the ones protecting your bird all these years. The administration and staff know what they're doing and they're passionate about and dedicated to serving the students. There is little that they haven't anticipated and prepared for. (At SLO Days, I felt such amazement that Dash made it through such vulnerable years with the guidance of us two amateur hacks - and relief that he'll have the support of people who actually know what they're doing).
The ride will be intense. This will likely be the most memorable period of your child's life. So much NEW, so much AMAZING. So much growth.
You'll get through this just fine, but you will feel things you've never felt before (sweetness always with melancholy for their distance (sweetancholy)).
The roller coast is wild for a year or two. It flattens out.
Let me ask you this: what are your favorite roller coaster memories?
It's never the middle part of the track (unless they throw in something clever). It's always that first BIG drop. Because it's big, AND because it's the first. And the anticipation while you're cresting the top of the hill when the chain gives way to gravity.
You still have a lifetime of memories you'll be building together. But this moment is special - and it's rather extended. It's scary as hell in the moment, but these memories will be a huge part of your emotional being years from now. Feel as much as you can, share as much as you can, try to remember as much as you can.
I made it through - very much because of the support of this group.
I'm making it through now - very much because of the support of this group. We're not alone - we're just Distanced for a bit.
Your energy, especially the Year Ones, unleashes a reservoir of remembered excitement, of pride, of longing, of love that again sustains me through another temporary distancing (the WOW Week picture posts are so fraught with joy). The lows aren't as deep and I'm sharing your highs. Thank you!
Your new Mustang will be overwhelmed; they're capable, they're resilient. They'll figure it all out in time. They'll be, as they say, FIRE!
You'll be overwhelmed at times. You'll get through. You raised a kid! How incredible is that?. This is just some new emotions - albeit pretty intense. Lean on your support groups, lean on us.
They got this. You got this. We got you.
Here comes the frenetic kinetic. Hold on loosely, feel the rush DEEPLY. These are the thrill moments.
To our amazing children! Go Mustangs!